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The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts oyw3
The Diagram presents the way of the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collected the recently weather information for producing reliable forecasts. Overall, the resources of the information are 3 different things, from the satellite, the radar and the drifting buoy in ocean. Each resources stands with various way to analysis and forecasting. The satellite, which is the matter in outer of our earth, analyzed and forecasted by using the satellite photo which is surveying by capturing the picture of the earth. Then, the information is sent to the computer which all of information resources used for preparing the brodcast. finally, it will be sent to TV newsreader, radio and recorded announcement. The radar is pretty different with the satellite. It is using the radar screen and synoptic chart to analyzing the data and sending to computer for preparing for broadcasting in the same broadcasting media with the satellite. The drifting buoy is only gaining the information the synoptic chart and analyzing it before it is sent for preparing the broadcast in computer and brodcast it using the TV, Radio and Recorded announcement.
The Diagram presents the way of the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collected the recently weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for producing reliable forecasts.

Overall
, the resources of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things, from the satellite, the radar and the drifting buoy in ocean. Each resources
You should probably use "stand".
stands
with various way to analysis and forecasting.

The satellite, which is the matter in outer of our earth, analyzed and forecasted by using the satellite photo which is surveying by capturing the picture of the earth. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the computer which all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for preparing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
brodcast
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to TV newsreader, radio and recorded announcement.

The radar is pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with the satellite. It is using the radar screen and synoptic chart to analyzing the data and sending to computer for preparing for broadcasting in the same broadcasting media with the satellite. The drifting buoy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
the synoptic chart and analyzing it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for preparing the broadcast in computer and
Possible spelling mistake found.
brodcast
it using the TV, Radio and Recorded announcement.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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