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The diagram below shows how bricks are manufactured for the building industry

The diagram illustrates the brickes manufacturing process for the building industry. It is clear that the brickes manufacturing process consists of nine different stages and the number of tools and infrastructures, from digging up clay to deliver the end products. At the first stage of the bricks manufacturing process, clay ia dug from the ground. Next, the clay is put through a metal grid, and it passes into a roller. After that, the clay can be shaped into brickes in two ways; either it is put in a mould, or a wire cutter is used. At the fourth stage in the process, the clay brickes are replaced in a drying over for one or two dayes. Next, the brickes are heated in a kiln at a moderate temperature ( 200 -980 'c) and then at a high temperature (up to 1300 'c), before sending two to three days in a Cooling chamber. Finally, the finished brickes are packaged and delivered.
The diagram illustrates the brickes manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
for the building industry.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the brickes manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
consists of nine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages and the number of tools and infrastructures, from digging up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
to deliver the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
products.

At the
first
stage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
ia dug from the ground.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is put
through a metal grid, and it passes into a roller. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
can
be shaped
into brickes in two ways; either it
is put
in a mould, or a wire cutter is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

At the fourth stage in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
brickes
are replaced
in a drying over for one or two dayes.
Next
, the brickes
are heated
in a kiln at a moderate temperature ( 200 -980 'c) and then at a high temperature (up to 1300 'c),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sending two to three days in a Cooling chamber.
Finally
, the finished brickes
are packaged
and delivered.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows how bricks are manufactured for the building industry

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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