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the development of two picture 1980 and 2005

the development of two picture 1980 and 2005 7WyKk
The two maps describe the development of the town below over a 70-year period, starting from 1980 after establishing facilities. Looking first at the one, in 1980, before the construction, we can see a huge tree and small house which were built to the north west and in the south so its atmosphere here was healthy. Turning to the second one, 70 years later, you can find some variations. To be specific, a great deal of trees and small houses were removed and replaced with some modernized facilities. To the north, a new big stadium was constructed. Moreover, in the bottom left picture, factories were made from woodland. That makes the atmosphere here not as healthy as 1980 but the airport and a school remained unchanged. Next to the two factories, lots of small houses and green trees were chopped-down and renovated by high-rise buildings. Almost all the trees were cleared to become warehouses, factories and so on with the exception as only a very small number of trees still existed. However, a swimming pool in the north after reconstruction, became more popular than the old one. To the east, above the railway station, appeared a marina, which attracted some tourists. Besides, a minority place was held. Overall, as can be seen from these two pictures, they were a significant transformation. Not only lots of facilities and some new places were set up, but also only a few trees were maintained. The two pictures have become a good choice for people in the country, even foreigners.
The two maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the development of the town below over a 70-year period, starting from 1980 after establishing facilities.

Looking
first
at the one, in 1980,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the construction, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which
were built
to the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
and in the south
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its atmosphere here was healthy.

Turning to the second one, 70 years later, you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variations. To be specific, a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were removed
and replaced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modernized facilities. To the north, a new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stadium
was constructed
.
Moreover
, in the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
picture, factories
were made
from woodland. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the atmosphere here not as healthy as 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the airport and a school remained unchanged.

Next
to the two factories, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
were chopped
-down and renovated by high-rise buildings. Almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
were cleared
to become warehouses, factories and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on with the exception as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
still
existed.
However
, a swimming pool in the north after reconstruction, became more popular than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one. To the east, above the railway station, appeared a marina, which attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tourists.
Besides
, a minority place
was held
.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from these two pictures, they were a significant transformation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lots of facilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new places
were set
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
were maintained
. The two pictures have become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the country, even foreigners.
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IELTS academic the development of two picture 1980 and 2005

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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