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The diagram illustrates the Grange park which was built in 1920 and still today

The diagram illustrates the Grange park which was built in 1920 and still today rKXg6
Grange park which has been built in 1920 and still opening today. There would be sophisticated changes since renovation has been made through decades, well two different timelines. In 1920, stage for musicians was in the left side of the park while seats were surrouned it from four sides, which means audience could listen to music in cushy ways. In the middle of the seats there were two rose gardens and each was placed on opposite side. Continuously, in the centre of the park there was splendid fountain, in other way which was in the middle of the gates withwhich could access to the park, with Arnold Avenue on north side and Eldon street on south side. On the right side of amusement, again rose garden and seats were built respectively.   In addition, glass house on the south east side and pond for water plants on north eastside. After all, 1920 Grange park was shape in rectangular. When it reaches today, the shape is still constant also provided with Arnold avenue and Eldon street on the same places. There are two rose gardens still, one in the centre supported by the seats and other in same location. In stead of stage being in the left side, amphitheatre is built now. Contrary to the left side, the right side has been changed completely. Cafe, children's play area, water feature and underground car park are replaced with the original ones.
Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
which has
been built
in 1920 and
still
opening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. There would
be sophisticated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
since renovation has
been made
through decades, well two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
timelines.

In 1920, stage for musicians was in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrouned
it from four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
, which means audience could listen to music in cushy ways. In the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
there were two rose gardens and each
was placed
on opposite side.
Continuously
, in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
there was splendid fountain, in other way which was in the middle of the gates
Possible spelling mistake found.
withwhich
could access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, with Arnold Avenue on north side and Eldon street on south side. On the right side of amusement, again rose garden and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
were built
respectively
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In addition
, glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
side and pond for water plants on north
Possible spelling mistake found.
eastside
.
After all
, 1920 Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was shape in rectangular.

When it reaches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the shape is
still
constant
also
provided with Arnold avenue and Eldon street on the same places. There are two rose gardens
still
, one in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
supported by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
and other in same location.
Did you mean "Instead of"?
In stead of
stage being in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side,
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
is built
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Contrary to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side, the right side has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely.
'Cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
Cafe
, children's play area, water feature and underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
are replaced
with the original ones.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the Grange park which was built in 1920 and still today

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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