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The comparasion of consumption among some countries

The comparasion of consumption among some countries PRxNg
When we look at the all the values in the chart, food comsumption in the USA are far ahead compared to other countries. However, considering the gross domestic value Netherland is the first country among all these. Also, there is a relationship between population and clothing cost; therefore china has the most expense in terms of clothing expense due to having over 1 billion population. When we look at the all the values in the chart, food comsumption in the USA are far ahead compared to other countries. However, considering the gross domestic value Netherland is the first country among all these. Also, there is a relationship between population and clothing cost; therefore china has the most expense in terms of clothing expense due to having over 1 billion population. When we look at the all the values in the chart, food comsumption in the USA are far ahead compared to other countries. However, considering the gross domestic value Netherland is the first country among all these. Also, there is a relationship between population and clothing cost; therefore china has the most expense in terms of clothing expense due to having over 1 billion population.
When we look at the all the values in the chart, food
comsumption
in the USA are far ahead compared to other
countries
.
However
, considering the gross domestic
value
Netherland
is the
first
country
among all these.
Also
, there is a relationship between
population
and clothing cost;
therefore
china has the most
expense
in terms of clothing
expense
due to having over 1 billion
population
. When we look at the all the values in the chart, food
comsumption
in the USA are far ahead compared to other
countries
.
However
, considering the gross domestic
value
Netherland
is the
first
country
among all these.
Also
, there is a relationship between
population
and clothing cost;
therefore
china has the most
expense
in terms of clothing
expense
due to having over 1 billion
population
. When we look at the all the values in the chart, food
comsumption
in the USA are far ahead compared to other
countries
.
However
, considering the gross domestic
value
Netherland
is the
first
country
among all these.
Also
, there is a relationship between
population
and clothing cost;
therefore
china has the most
expense
in terms of clothing
expense
due to having over 1 billion
population
.
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IELTS academic The comparasion of consumption among some countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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