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Energy use in Australia and Greenhouse Gas Emissions

Energy use in Australia and Greenhouse Gas Emissions q0pKD
Since the 19th century the world needed to face a new problem which is threaten the environment. This problem is global warming. Global warming is the heating surface of the earth; therefore, all living beings suffer from that stituation. By 2000 this problem emerged in terms of fatal consequences. To prevent negative effects of global warming countries, governments, local authorities and etc. took some precautions like putting a limit on fuel consumption, encouraging the renewable sources and so on. However, all consumption in the daily life can feed this problem. When we look at the household energy use in Australia, the majority of energy use comes from the heating and water heating respectively. People who live in Australia can use energy at least in cooling, lighting and refrigeration. When these energy uses evaluated in terms of greenhouse gas emissions, water heating has the most greenhouse gas emission which is 32 percent of total emission. Second emission is in the other appliances that have 15 percent energy use on the contrary these have 28 percent gas emission.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the 19th century the world needed to face a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which is
Consider using a past participle here: "threatened".
threaten
the environment. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is global warming. Global warming is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
surface of the earth;
therefore
, all living beings suffer from that
Possible spelling mistake found.
stituation
. By 2000 this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
emerged in terms of fatal consequences. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of global warming countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, local authorities
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. took
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some
precautions like putting a limit on fuel consumption, encouraging the renewable sources and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, all consumption in the daily life can feed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. When we look at the household
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in Australia, the majority of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the
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heating
and water
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heating
respectively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Australia can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
at least in cooling, lighting and refrigeration. When these
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
evaluated in terms of greenhouse gas
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emissions
, water
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heating
has the most greenhouse gas
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emission
which is 32 percent of total
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emission
. Second
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emission
is in the other appliances that have 15 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on the contrary
these have 28 percent gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
.
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IELTS academic Energy use in Australia and Greenhouse Gas Emissions

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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