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The circle diagram illustrates the information on various employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University in 2019, shown in the proportions.

The circle diagram illustrates the information on various employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University in 2019, shown in the proportions. aVQaX
The circle diagram illustrates the information on various employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University in 2019, shown in the proportions. Overall, most of all graduated students from Brighton University applied for industry fields. While, a number of them were employed for Charity and Sport in strikingly low percentages. Graduated students most attended for industry jobs, including Service industries and Manufacturing industry which were prorated together by almost one-half of all graduates, at the percentage of 33 and 16. 3 respectively. Whereas other sectors about socialization were at the average percentage, for example Education at 14. 7%, Politics and government at 12. 1%, Transportation and warehousing at 7. 8%, Science and technology at 7. 3%, and Civil service at 5. 6% On the contrary, other sectors stood at extremely low percentages of employed graduates, for instance Sport, Charity and others which were at the ratio of 0. 1, 0. 3 and 2. 8 respectively.
The circle diagram illustrates the information on various employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University in 2019, shown in the proportions.

Overall
, most of all graduated students from Brighton University applied for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
fields. While, a number of them
were employed
for Charity and Sport in
strikingly
low percentages.

Graduated students most attended for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
jobs, including Service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and Manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
which
were prorated
together by almost one-half of all graduates, at the percentage of 33 and 16. 3
respectively
. Whereas other sectors about socialization were at the average percentage,
for example
Education at 14. 7%, Politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
at 12. 1%, Transportation and warehousing at 7. 8%, Science and technology at 7. 3%, and Civil service at 5. 6%

On the contrary
, other sectors stood at
extremely
low percentages of employed graduates,
for instance
Sport, Charity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
which were at the ratio of 0. 1, 0. 3 and 2. 8
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The circle diagram illustrates the information on various employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University in 2019, shown in the proportions.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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