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The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008. doppE
The charts illustrate four types of destination included part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008. Overall, most of the graduate and postgraduate students studied in higher education, whereas the fewest of graduate and postgraduate students were a volunteer. In the first chart, most of the graduate students studied in postgraduate programs, the amount of this group was 29, 665 students. Both of a part-time job and unemployment had a little difference in the number of students in each group, there were 17, 735 students for a part-time job and 16, 235 students for an unemployment. The fewest number of graduate students was a volunteer (3, 500  students) In the second chart, it had 2, 725 postgraduate students study in doctoral degrees, the number of this student group more than the number of postgraduate students who did a part-time work not much (2, 535 students did a part-time work). The fewest postgraduate students did voluntary work (345 students).
The charts illustrate four types of destination included part-time
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work
, voluntary
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work
,
further
study and unemployment that
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graduate
and
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postgraduate
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students
did after leaving the university in 2008.

Overall
, most of the
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graduate
and
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postgraduate
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students
studied in higher education, whereas the fewest of
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graduate
and
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postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were a volunteer.

In the
first
chart, most of the
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graduate
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students
studied in
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postgraduate
programs, the amount of this group was 29, 665
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students
. Both of a part-time job and unemployment had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference in the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in each group, there were 17, 735
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students
for a part-time job and 16, 235
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students
for an unemployment. The fewest
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number
of
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was a volunteer (3, 500
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students)

In the second chart, it had 2, 725
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postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study in doctoral degrees, the
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number
of this
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student
group more than the
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number
of
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postgraduate
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students
who did a part-time
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work
not much (2, 535
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students
did a part-time
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work)
. The fewest
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postgraduate
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students
did voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
(345
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students)
.
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IELTS academic The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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