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The charts below show total number of internet users and internet shopping in Europe.

The charts below show total number of internet users and internet shopping in Europe. nXQMP
The provided charts illustrate the information about total figure of internet users and internet shopping in Europe from 1995 to 2004 and data has been calibrated in millions. Overview, UK had a top priority of internet users in all years, whereas inviduals in Spain were more passionate towards the internet shopping. It is interesting to note that in 1995, the internet users in France surpassed the Switzerland but left behind by internet users in Germany. However, internet users in 2004 were two fold of 2000 in Switzerland. After that, there was a slight difference between the internet users in Germany in 2000 and 2004. The internet users in 2000 was 3 million and it was rose by 3 million in 2004. Afterwards, the internet users in Spain was 0. 5, 0. 7 and 2 million between 1995 and 2004 respectively. It is interesting to note that the internet users in UK in 1995 accounting for 16 million. However, the internet users in 2000 was less than a quarter in UK and in 2004 the internet users was accounted for more than one fourth. Moreover the maximum individuals of UK preferred internet shopping which was followed by Spain. The internet shopping preferred by people in Germany was on the par with France. Users of internet shopping in Switzerland stood at 5%.
The provided charts illustrate the information about total figure of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
and internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in Europe from 1995 to 2004 and data has
been calibrated
in
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millions
. Overview, UK had a top priority of internet
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users
in all years, whereas
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inviduals
in Spain were more passionate towards the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is interesting to note that in 1995, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in France surpassed the Switzerland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind by internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in Germany.
However
, internet
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users
in 2004 were
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
of 2000 in Switzerland. After that, there was a slight difference between the internet
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users
in Germany in 2000 and 2004. The internet
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users
in 2000 was 3
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million
and it was rose by 3
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million
in 2004. Afterwards, the internet
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users
in Spain was 0. 5, 0. 7 and 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
between 1995 and 2004
respectively
. It is interesting to note that the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in UK in 1995 accounting for 16
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million
.
However
, the internet
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users
in 2000 was less than a quarter in UK and in 2004 the internet
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users
was accounted
for more than one fourth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the maximum individuals of UK preferred internet
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shopping
which
was followed
by Spain. The internet
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shopping
preferred by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Germany was on the par with France.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Users
of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in Switzerland stood at 5%.

IELTS academic The charts below show total number of internet users and internet shopping in Europe.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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