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The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010 xQ1g
The pie charts provide information on the percentage of British pupils at a university in England that had the ability to speak other languages moreover than English in 2000 and 2010. It would suffice to take a quick glance at the pie charts to realize that students who can speak Spanish only account for the highest percentage of the total in both years. Also, the ratio of pupils who knew German only remained steady. it is noticeable that the number of monolingual students saw the largest decrease over a 10-year period. A more detailed look makes it clear that during one decade the proportion of pupils who knew Spanish only was the highest of the total at 30%, besides, there was an increase between 2000 and 2010 (5%). A fifth of the total was one-lingual students in 2000 that fell to 10 percent in 2010. Despite all categories that increased or remained stable the ratio of students who are one-lingual decreased, the number of students who can speak more than one language went up precisely 5 percent.
The pie charts provide information on the percentage of British pupils at a university in England that had the ability to speak other languages
moreover
than English in 2000 and 2010.

It would suffice to take a quick glance at the pie charts to realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can speak Spanish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
account for the highest percentage of the total in both years.
Also
, the ratio of pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
knew German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remained steady.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is noticeable that the number of monolingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the largest decrease over a 10-year period.

A more detailed look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that during one decade the proportion of pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
knew Spanish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was the highest of the total at 30%,
besides
, there was an increase between 2000 and 2010 (5%). A fifth of the total was one-lingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2000 that fell to 10 percent in 2010.

Despite all categories that increased or remained stable the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are one-lingual decreased, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can speak more than one language went up
precisely
5 percent.

IELTS academic The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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