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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers r95N
The chart illustrates the vital cause of studying among pupils of different ages and their support from employer versus their ages. Overall, it can be observed that the students under 26 are studying for a better job. On the other hand, most people over 45 educate because they like the subject. Meanwhile, the young students get the highest range of support from their employers, by 70%, and the middle-aged persons, who aged between 30-39, have the lowest support. As the first figure shows, 80% of the young people educate due to finding a suitable job. Becoming older makes the percentage of the career, as the reason for studying, decrease. While the interest percentages grow and for students between 40-49, the job and interest with 45% have precisely the same proportion of the educational aim. The second chart represents 70% of the youngest people support by their employers. Whether with a decreasing trend, students aged 30-39 got the minimum time off and fees, with 35%. For the person who aged over 39, the employers help with salary and time off increase and reach 45% for the oldest group who aged over 49.
The chart illustrates the vital cause of studying among pupils of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages and their support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
versus their ages.
Overall
, it can
be observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
under 26 are studying for a better job.
On the other hand
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 45 educate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like the subject. Meanwhile, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest range of support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
, by 70%, and the middle-aged persons, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
between 30-39, have the lowest support.

As the
first
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, 80% of the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
educate due to finding a suitable job. Becoming older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the percentage of the career, as the reason for studying, decrease. While the interest percentages grow and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
between 40-49, the job and interest with 45% have
precisely
the same proportion of the educational aim.

The second chart represents 70% of the youngest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. Whether with a decreasing trend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
30-39
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the minimum time off and fees, with 35%. For the person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
over 39, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with salary and time off increase and reach 45% for the oldest group who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
over 49.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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