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The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. 0e59
The given chart illustrate the rate of unemployement resident from rural area and urban area in Australia in the year 2012. Overall, the unemployement rate of Australian who lives in rural area is much higher than citizen in urban area. Moreover, the fluctuation rate of rural area was relatively declibed duribg the year, while the urban area showed the gradual inclined over the four quarter. It is projected that, in the rural area, there are 6% of unemployement people that are identified in the first uarter. Eventhough in the following quarter was decrease signuficantly for about 4, 5%, it is evened out at 5% afterward. In urban area, the fluctuation rate was figured unpredictably. There are more than 2% people who didn't have a job and the line rose sustantially to 40% in second quarter. Suddently, there was fell down in the sane percentage woth the first quarter. However, it is uplifted to the consideravle number to less than 5% in last quarter.
The
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given
chart illustrate the
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rate
of
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unemployement
resident from
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rural
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area
and
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urban
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area
in Australia in the year 2012.

Overall
, the
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unemployement
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rate
of Australian who
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lives
in
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rural
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area
is much higher than citizen in
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Moreover
, the fluctuation
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rate
of
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rural
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area
was
relatively
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declibed
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duribg
the year, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the gradual inclined over the four quarter.

It
is projected
that, in the
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rural
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area
, there are 6% of
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unemployement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
are identified
in the
first
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uarter
.
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Eventhough
in the following
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quarter
was decrease
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signuficantly
for about 4, 5%, it
is evened
out at 5% afterward.

In
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the fluctuation
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rate
was figured
unpredictably
. There are more than 2%
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people
who didn't have a job and the line rose
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustantially
to 40% in second
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quarter
.
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Suddently
, there was fell down in the sane percentage
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woth
the
first
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quarter
.
However
, it
is uplifted
to the
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consideravle
number to less than 5% in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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