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the chart shows the results of a survey conducted in the uk in three different years regarding the level of interest in 6 particular sports

the chart shows the results of a survey conducted in the uk in three different years regarding the level of interest in 6 particular sports Xnoo8
The chart illustrates the results of a survey showing the amount of interest in six different sports in three years 1995, 2000 and 2005 in the United Kingdom. Overall, football was the most popular sport in all three years whilst, golf was the least common sport in the three years mentioned. According to what is shown, during the three years, football had the highest level of interest by almost 40%. However, the amount of interest in tennis went down roughly 30% in 1995 to reach roughly 25% in 2005. About the volleyball and swimming, they had exactly the same amount of interest through the three years mentioned. Furthermore, the level of interest in rugby showed a slight increase in the same three years. On the other hand, golf had the lowest amount, just under 20% in 1995 but it reached exactly 20% in 2005.
The chart illustrates the results of a survey showing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports in three years 1995, 2000 and 2005 in the United Kingdom.

Overall
, football was the most popular sport in all three years whilst, golf was the least common sport in the three years mentioned.

According to what
is shown
, during the three years, football had the highest level of
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
almost 40%.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in tennis went down roughly 30% in 1995 to reach roughly 25% in 2005. About the volleyball and swimming, they had exactly the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
through the three years mentioned.
Furthermore
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in rugby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight increase in the same three years.
On the other hand
, golf had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20% in 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it reached exactly 20% in 2005.
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IELTS academic the chart shows the results of a survey conducted in the uk in three different years regarding the level of interest in 6 particular sports

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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