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The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013. LBMRr
The supplied bar chart compares the employment status of adults in the United States of America in the year of 2003 and 2013. As it can be noticed from the chart, in 2003, "Education training", "Building", "Self-employed" and "Unemployed" categories are approximately at the same rate of roughly 10 percent. Nonetheless, only two of the categories mentioned above did save the ratio till 2013. These are first two, whereas the remaining two differ considerably from each other in 2013. Thus, the former two have an approximate figure of 20 per cent, "Self-employed" section is tripled, while the so-called "Unemployed" sector halved. The "Hotel industry" category has fourfold, hence, it experienced the sharpest increase.
The supplied bar chart compares the employment status of adults in the United States of America in the year of 2003 and 2013.

As it can
be noticed
from the chart, in 2003,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Education training
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Building
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Self-employed
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Unemployed
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
categories are approximately at the same rate of roughly 10 percent. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two of the categories mentioned above did save the ratio till 2013. These are
first
two, whereas the remaining two differ
considerably
from each other in 2013.
Thus
, the former two have an approximate figure of 20 per cent,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Self-employed
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
section
is tripled
, while the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Unemployed
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
sector halved. The
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Hotel industry
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
 category has fourfold,
hence
, it experienced the sharpest increase.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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