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The chart below shows trends in landline telephone ownership in many countries between 2000 and 2004.

The chart below shows trends in landline telephone ownership in many countries between 2000 and 2004. DwgMk
The chart illustrates how many people have had landline phones in different countries, during four years, from 2000 to 2004. Overall, the fame of landline phones was the highest in two countries: Singapore and Brunei Darruselam respectively, while in others it was not much popular than them. These two countries took the first rate among mentioned countries in the chart. Taking the first position among all of them, landline users were a bit more than 450 in Singapore, while it was in Brunei Darruselam, twice as low as that of in Singapore at the beginning of 21st century. By then, for the end of given period they had both slightly decrease. Both of them ended with 430 as well as 230 respectively.
The chart illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have had landline phones in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
, during four years, from 2000 to 2004.
Overall
, the fame of landline phones was the highest in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
: Singapore and Brunei
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Darruselam
respectively
, while in others it was not much
Use "(popular)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
popular
than them. These two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
took the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
first rate
among mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the chart. Taking the
first
position among all of them, landline users were a bit more than 450 in Singapore, while it was in Brunei
Possible spelling mistake found.
Darruselam
, twice as low as that of in Singapore at the beginning of 21st century. By then, for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period they had both
slightly
decrease. Both of them ended with 430
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
230
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows trends in landline telephone ownership in many countries between 2000 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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