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the chart below shows the results of a survey about the reasons why alduts decide to study

the chart below shows the results of a survey about the reasons why alduts decide to study 2x0mJ
The chart illustrates reasons motivating aldults continue to study. Overall, the main reason why they study is relevant to their hobbies and their work. Acoording to the graph, the most reasons why they choose to study are passionate in that subject and to get a qualification for their work. The percentage is approximate 40%. The important reason are relevant to their carrier and their work. They learn because they want the o to get a better work or improve the promotion. However, also remain a group of person who learn because they enjoy learning, exploring a new knowlege about something. The percentage of this group is from 20% to 23%. Besides, The least common reason is lowest between under 10% and 13% but it indicate some exciting reason. Some people learn because they want to change job and meet new people under 10000 people.
The chart illustrates
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reasons
motivating
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aldults
continue to study.

Overall
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why they study is relevant to their hobbies and their work.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Acoording
to the graph, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why they choose to study are passionate in that subject and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a qualification for their work. The percentage is approximate 40%. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
are relevant to their carrier and their work. They learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want the o to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the promotion.
However
,
also
remain a group of person who learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy learning, exploring a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlege
about something. The percentage of this group is from 20% to 23%.
Besides
, The least common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is lowest between under 10% and 13%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "indicates"?
indicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under 10000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS academic the chart below shows the results of a survey about the reasons why alduts decide to study

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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