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The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Dr3a
The bar chart illustrates the outcome of a survey about person's coffee and tea purchasing and drinking behaviours in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart states. The data are measured in percentage. Overall, Melbourne and Hobart experienced an upward of city citizens who went to a cafe for coffee in previous 4 weeks, while Brisbane and Adelaide showed a downward changes of peoples who bought hygenic coffee in last 4 weeks. To begin with, Sydney was accounting for around 45% of people who consumed fresh coffee in last weeks, rose just more than 45% who bought instant coffee. Then, the rates of individuals who went to a cafe were approximately 60% of city residents. With regards of Brisbane has more than a thirds of people who bought fresh coffee and buying instant coffee was grown more than a half, whereas the humans who went to a cafe for coffee was comprised to just above 55% of city humankind. Furthermore, in terms of Hobart, the proportion of buying fresh coffee was lowest in case of both activity which were around 40% of citizens. The rates increased in people who bought coffee in last 4 weeks accounted for less than 55% of people.
The bar chart illustrates the outcome of a survey about person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea purchasing and drinking
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart states. The data
are measured
in percentage.

Overall
, Melbourne and Hobart experienced an upward of city citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in previous 4 weeks, while Brisbane and Adelaide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
Possible spelling mistake found.
hygenic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in last 4 weeks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Sydney was accounting for around 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consumed fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in last weeks, rose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
more than 45%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. Then, the rates of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
were approximately 60% of city residents.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards of
Brisbane has more than
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a third" or simply "thirds"?
a thirds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and buying instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was grown
more than a half, whereas the humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was comprised
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 55% of city humankind.

Furthermore
, in terms of Hobart, the proportion of buying fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was lowest in case of both activity which were around 40% of citizens. The rates increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in last 4 weeks accounted for less than 55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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