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The table shows the figures about the proportion of the money spent on different types of consumptions in five countries in 2002.

The table shows the figures about the proportion of the money spent on different types of consumptions in five countries in 2002. K65N
The table shows the figures about the proportion of the money spent on different types of consumptions in five countries in 2002. There is an obvious fact that Turkey was the first ranked in terms of consumed money for both leisure time and education and eating, drinking and smoking. By contrast, residents in Sweden had spent the least money for food, drinks and tobacco and wearing. In Turkey, roughly 32 percent of the people’s budget went for food, drinks and smoking. Similarly, Ireland is in the second order, people who lived there spent nearly 29 percent for that. However, these people spent only approximately 2 percent of their money to their education and spare time. On the other hand, Italian citizens allotted by far the highest rate of their budget (9 %) to the clothing. The Irish, Spanish and Turkish people spent nearly the same proportion of money (6%) on the clothing. Swedish people pay a little less for that.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the figures about the proportion of the
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
in five countries in 2002.

There is an obvious fact that Turkey was the
first
ranked in terms of consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for both leisure time and education and eating, drinking and smoking. By contrast, residents in Sweden had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for food, drinks and tobacco and wearing.

In Turkey, roughly 32 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
budget went for food, drinks and smoking.
Similarly
, Ireland is in the second order,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
nearly
29 percent for that.
However
, these
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approximately 2 percent of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their education and spare time.

On the other hand
, Italian citizens allotted by far the highest rate of their budget (9 %) to the clothing. The Irish, Spanish and Turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
nearly
the same proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
(6%) on the clothing. Swedish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less for that.
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IELTS academic The table shows the figures about the proportion of the money spent on different types of consumptions in five countries in 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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