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The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011.

The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011. g5x0d
The line graph shows the number of people in a particular country arriving and departing on a short trip between 2009 and 2011. At first glance, it can clearly be seen that the Census of resident individuals who left the country was greater than the tourists who came and the lines of the chart did not intersect at all during the specified period. According to the graph, both resident and tourist traveler’s number increased gradually and approximately at the same rate from 10-10-2009 to 10-10-2010. The number of resident departure started at 550000 trippers in October 2009 and raised to 605000 trippers in October 2010. While in the same period, the visitor arrival number started at 490000 tourists and raised to peak at 525000 tourists in October 2010. After October 2010, the resident departures number continues to increase dramatically and arrived at 650000 trippers in June 2011, While, for one reason or another the number of arriving visitors dropped slowly and reach 495000 tourists in June 2011. To sum up, the number of residents, who leave the country for short trips were higher than tourists and visitors number fluctuated over the period and reaching a peak of 525 thousand tourists in October 2010.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a particular country arriving and departing on a short trip between 2009 and 2011. At
first
glance, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the Census of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the country was greater than the
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tourists
who came and the lines of the chart did not intersect at all during the specified period.

According to the graph, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
traveler’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased
gradually
and approximately at the same rate from 10-10-2009 to 10-10-2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
departure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 550000 trippers in October 2009 and raised to 605000 trippers in October 2010. While in the same period, the visitor arrival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 490000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and raised to peak at 525000
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tourists
in October 2010. After October 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
departures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
continues to increase
dramatically
and arrived at 650000 trippers in June 2011, While, for one reason or another the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of arriving visitors dropped
slowly
and reach 495000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in June 2011.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the country for short trips were higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
fluctuated over the period and reaching a peak of 525 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in October 2010.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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