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The bar chart below shows the money spent per week on public transport by age group in Malaysia in the year 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the money spent per week on public transport by age group in Malaysia in the year 2008. 3aMOX
It is argued that there is a growing disparity between the wealthy and underprivileged in society, which has a deleterious effect. These differences are caused by a number of factors including a failing economy that has created several problems such as increased crime rates. These issues will be discussed in further detail in this essay. Firstly, the global economy has seen a decline since 2008, which has resulted in falling levels of employment. Moreover, when people do not have work, they do not earn money and, therefore, cannot pay for basic provisions like food and bills. As a result, crime rates rise because those people who are becoming poorer need to resort to criminal activity in order to provide for their families. Secondly, privileged children tend to be sent to public school where they receive an arguably better education than their more impoverished peers. Furthermore, better schooling leads to jobs in high-level roles within well-paid industries like the finance sector whereas less well-off youngsters are more likely to embark on careers in the unskilled sector, where salaries are considerably lower than those of their richer counterparts.
It
is argued
that there is a growing disparity between the wealthy and underprivileged in society, which has a deleterious effect. These differences
are caused
by a number of factors including a failing economy that has created several problems such as increased crime rates. These issues will
be discussed
in
further
detail in this essay.

Firstly
, the global economy has
seen
a decline since 2008, which has resulted in falling levels of employment.
Moreover
, when
people
do not have work, they do not earn money and,
therefore
, cannot pay for basic provisions like food and bills.
As a result
, crime rates rise
because
those
people
who are becoming poorer need to resort to criminal activity in order to provide for their families.

Secondly
, privileged children tend to be
sent
to public school where they receive an
arguably
better education than their more impoverished peers.
Furthermore
, better schooling leads to jobs in high-level roles within well-paid industries like the finance sector whereas less well-off youngsters are more likely to embark on careers in the unskilled sector, where salaries are
considerably
lower than those of their richer counterparts.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the money spent per week on public transport by age group in Malaysia in the year 2008.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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