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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in britain. Summarise the information.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in britain. L9V2r
The given bar graph indicates further education of men and women of three phases. it is seen that the figures are splits in full time and part time studying. It is seen that in 1970/71, only 800 women had taken full time education whereas, 1000 men had been educated. In 1980/81 and 1990/91, the number of men has gradually decreased whereas women had been drastically increased to more than 1000. The number of women studying were shot up in 1990/91 by nearly 20%. In part time education, the men enrollment has doubled in the third phase. In 1970/71 approximately 100 men were studying but in 1990/91 rose to 200. On the other side, women had lowest ratio in 1970/71 which kissed as much as men in 1990/91 in part time education. All in all, It is observed that the number of women in further education has grown more compare to men in Britain.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph indicates
further
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education
of
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of three phases.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the figures are splits in full
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time
and part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 1970/71,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
800
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women
had taken full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
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education
whereas, 1000
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men
had
been educated
. In 1980/81 and 1990/91, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
has
gradually
decreased whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had been
drastically
increased to more than 1000. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
studying
were shot
up in 1990/91 by
nearly
20%.

In part
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the
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men
enrollment has doubled in the third phase. In 1970/71 approximately 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 1990/91 rose to 200. On the other side,
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women
had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
ratio in 1970/71 which kissed as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in 1990/91 in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
education.

All in all, It
is observed
that the number of
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women
in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has grown more compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in Britain.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in britain.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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