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The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Qryy
The bar chart in figure presents data on the annual number of a store’s rentals and sales of films in different formats (VHS, DVD and Blu-ray) from 2002 to 2011. Firstly, it can be noticed how rentals were the main source of revenues for the store in 2002, with a total number of 185, 000, 100, 000 more than VHS sales and more than three times DVD sales which stayed at 47, 000 – 48, 000. However, the number of films rented decreases significantly and consistently throughout the sample period, reaching a total of 59, 000 films in 2011. A similar but more dramatic trend can be extended to VHS sales which starts at a total of 85, 000 in 2002 and constantly loses numbers, with approximately 11, 000 sales in 2005 and 0 from 2006 on. On the other hand, DVD sales place themselves at the opposite side of the spectrum as they star by being the lowest sources of revenues in 2002 and rapidly increase in 2003 and 2004 with an average of 60, 000 sales added each year. This boosts DVD sales, making them the principal medium of film watching in 2004. The rate of growth decreases as DVD sales reach a maximum of 215, 000 in 2007. The trend reverses from 2007 on as the numbers of DVDs sold decreases to slightly more than 2004 levels, at 180, 000. Lastly, Blu-ray sales are the only category that witnesses a modest but consistent rate of growth, starting in 2007 with 2000 sales and reaching 13, 000 – 14, 000 sales in 2011. In conclusion, there is a complete shift in categories as film rentals and VHS sales decrease in favor of other categories. In particular DVD sales, which becomes the most popular category from 2004 despite the fact that the rate of positive change of this category is completely reversed from 2007 on. This change in trend favors an increase in sales of Blu-ray films, which seem to be part of an upward trend.
The bar chart in figure presents data on the annual
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number
of a store’s rentals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of films in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
formats (VHS, DVD and Blu-ray) from 2002 to 2011.

Firstly
, it can
be noticed
how rentals were the main source of revenues for the store in 2002, with a total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 185, 000, 100, 000 more than VHS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and more than three times DVD
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sales
which stayed at 47, 000 – 48, 000.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of films rented
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decreases
significantly
and
consistently
throughout the sample period, reaching a total of 59, 000 films in 2011.

A similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more dramatic
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trend
can
be extended
to VHS
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sales
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at a total of 85, 000 in 2002 and
constantly
loses
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numbers
, with approximately 11, 000
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sales
in 2005 and 0 from 2006 on.

On the other hand
, DVD
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sales
place themselves at the opposite side of the spectrum as they star by being the lowest sources of revenues in 2002 and
rapidly
increase in 2003 and 2004 with an average of 60, 000
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sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
each year. This boosts DVD
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sales
, making them the principal medium of film watching in 2004. The rate of growth
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decreases
as DVD
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sales
reach a maximum of 215, 000 in 2007. The
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trend
reverses from 2007 on as the
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numbers
of DVDs sold
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decreases
to
slightly
more than 2004 levels, at 180, 000.

Lastly
, Blu-ray
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sales
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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category
that witnesses a modest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consistent rate of growth, starting in 2007 with 2000
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sales
and reaching 13, 000 – 14, 000
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sales
in 2011.

In conclusion
, there is a complete shift in
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categories
as film rentals and VHS
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sales
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decrease
in favor of other
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categories
.
In particular
DVD
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sales
, which becomes the most popular
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category
from 2004 despite the fact that the rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of this
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category
is completely reversed from 2007 on. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
favors an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Blu-ray films, which seem to be part of an upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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