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The chart below shows information about student enrolments at three different English language schools for the year 2017.

The chart below shows information about student enrolments at three different English language schools for the year 2017. YL1kV
The below chart illustrates data about the total count of student enrolled per two months at three different English language schools for one year. The three schools in which students took admission are New Zealand centre for Languages (NZCL), Mayfair School of English (MSE) and Best Communication Englist Academy (BCEA). The student count for MSE school has gradually increased from January to December whereas for NZCL school, student count increased from January to August but starting decreasing from September of the same year. As compared to other two schools BCEA had seen many up's and down's in student count over the 1 year. NZCL had the highest number of students enrolled for English language in July-August as compare to other Schools in 2007. Overall, it can been observed that gradually children have taken interest in getting themselves enrolled in schools to learn English Language due to which the total number of students enrolled across all the three schools has increased per two-months time.
The below chart illustrates data about the total
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count
of
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student
enrolled per two months at three
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different
English
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language
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schools
for one year. The three
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schools
in which
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students
took admission are New Zealand
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for
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Languages
(
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NZCL
), Mayfair
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School
of English (MSE) and Best Communication
Possible spelling mistake found.
Englist
Academy (
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BCEA
).

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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student
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count
for MSE
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school
has
gradually
increased from January to December whereas for
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NZCL
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school
,
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student
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count
increased from January to August
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but
starting decreasing from September of the same year. As compared to other two
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schools
Possible spelling mistake found.
BCEA
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'up'.
up's
and down's in
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student
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count
over the 1 year.

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NZCL
had the highest number of
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students
enrolled for English
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language
in July-August as compare to other
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Schools
in 2007.

Overall
, it can
been observed
that
gradually
children have taken interest in getting themselves enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to learn English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
due to which the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled across all the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has increased per two-months time.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows information about student enrolments at three different English language schools for the year 2017.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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