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THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE SPENDING PATTERN OF THE RESIDENST OF UK AND NZ ON VARIOUS ITEMS IN THE YEAR 1980 AND 2008.

THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE SPENDING PATTERN OF THE RESIDENST OF UK AND NZ ON VARIOUS ITEMS IN THE YEAR 1980 AND 2008. 0EQPl
THE PROVIDED PIE CHART COMPARES THE EXPENDITURE ON FIVE COMMODITIES BY THE PEOPLE OF NEW ZEALAND AND UK IN 28 YEAR PERIOD FROM 1980 TO 2008. OVERALL, THE HIGHEST CONSUMPTION OF CIVILIANS OF UK IS LEISURE WHEREAS, IN NZ IT IS FOOD AND BILLS. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN UK, THE SPENDING OF FOOD IS ACCOUNTED FOR 23% AND IT DECLINES BY 10% IN 2008 WHEREAS, THE SPENDING ON LEISURE IS 27% AND IT INCLINES TO ONE THIRD IN SIMILAR PERIOD. EXPENDITURE ON OTHER PRODUCTS AND BILLS IS 9% AND 26% RESPECTIVELY AND IT SLIGHTLY INCREASES BY 2%. ON TRANSPORTATION THE SPENDING FALLS NEGLIGIBLY BY 1%. THE PIE CHART FURTHER COLLATE THAT, IN NEW ZEALAND, THE EXPENDITUE ON MEALS IS 29% IN FORMER PERIOD WHICH, DROPS TO 24% WHEREAS, THE PERCENTAGE OF UTILITY IS 27% WHICH, INCLINES TO 31%. THE PERCENT OF OTHER ITEMS IS STATED AS 9% IN 1980 AND 11% IN 2008 HOWEVER, THE SPENDING ON LEISURE AND TRANSPORT IS 18% AND 17% WHICH, FALLS BY 1% IN 2008.
THE PROVIDED PIE CHART COMPARES THE EXPENDITURE ON FIVE COMMODITIES BY THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
OF NEW ZEALAND AND UK IN
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
28 YEAR
PERIOD FROM 1980 TO 2008.

OVERALL
, THE HIGHEST CONSUMPTION OF CIVILIANS OF UK IS LEISURE WHEREAS, IN NZ IT IS FOOD AND BILLS.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, IN UK, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENDING
OF FOOD
IS ACCOUNTED
FOR 23% AND IT DECLINES BY 10% IN 2008 WHEREAS, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENDING
ON LEISURE IS 27% AND IT INCLINES TO ONE THIRD IN SIMILAR PERIOD. EXPENDITURE ON OTHER PRODUCTS AND BILLS IS 9% AND 26%
RESPECTIVELY
AND IT
SLIGHTLY
INCREASES BY 2%. ON TRANSPORTATION THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENDING
FALLS
NEGLIGIBLY
BY 1%.

THE PIE CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT, IN NEW ZEALAND, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXPENDITUE
ON MEALS IS 29% IN FORMER PERIOD WHICH, DROPS TO 24% WHEREAS, THE PERCENTAGE OF UTILITY IS 27% WHICH, INCLINES TO 31%. THE PERCENT OF OTHER ITEMS
IS STATED
AS 9% IN 1980 AND 11% IN 2008
HOWEVER
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENDING
ON LEISURE AND TRANSPORT IS 18% AND 17% WHICH, FALLS BY 1% IN 2008.
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IELTS academic THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE SPENDING PATTERN OF THE RESIDENST OF UK AND NZ ON VARIOUS ITEMS IN THE YEAR 1980 AND 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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