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THE FOLLOWING PIE CHART SHW THE USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA BY MEN AND WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA IN 2011 AND 2014.

THE FOLLOWING PIE CHART SHW THE USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA BY MEN AND WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA IN 2011 AND 2014. BwxX5
THE PIE CHARTS COMPARES THE CONSUMPTION SOCIAL MEDIA BY MALES AND FEMALES IN AUSTRALIA IN 2011 AND 2014. OVERALL, THE EVERYDAY USAGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA IS INCLINED DRASTICALLY BY BOTH GENDER WHILE, FEW TIMES A WEEK DECLINES IN GIVEN PERIOD. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN 2011, THE PERCENTAGE OF MEN NEVER USED WAS ACCOUNTED FOR 44% AND IT FACED A DRASTIC DECLINE OF 14% WHEREAS, DAILY USING OF SOCIAL SITES WAS STATED FOR ONE FOUTH OF TOTAL WHICH, IS SKYROCKETED TO 45% IN 3 YEARS. ONCE A WEEK AND FEW TIMES A WEEK IS 12% AND 19% IN FORMER YEAR AND IT, SLIGHTLY DECREASES BY 3% IN LATTER PERIOD. THE PIE CHART FURTHER COLLATE THAT, , THE PERCENT FOR WOMEN NEVER USING MEDIA SITES WAS 8% AND IT ROSES TO 22% IN 2014 WHILST, THE FEW TIMES USER IS 22% AND IT PLUMMET TO 9% IN SIMILAR PERIOD. THE AMOUNT OF DAILY USING WAS ONE THIRD IN BEGINNING, FACED TWO ROSE IN 3 YEARS MEANHILE, ONCE A WEEK PLUNGE BY 30% IN GIVEN TIME.
THE PIE CHARTS COMPARES THE CONSUMPTION SOCIAL MEDIA BY MALES AND FEMALES IN AUSTRALIA IN 2011 AND 2014.

OVERALL
, THE EVERYDAY USAGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA
IS INCLINED
DRASTICALLY
BY BOTH GENDER WHILE, FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIMES
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEEK
DECLINES IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, IN 2011, THE PERCENTAGE OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MEN
NEVER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
WAS ACCOUNTED
FOR 44% AND IT FACED A DRASTIC DECLINE OF 14% WHEREAS, DAILY USING OF SOCIAL SITES
WAS STATED
FOR ONE
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOUTH
OF TOTAL WHICH,
IS SKYROCKETED
TO 45% IN 3 YEARS. ONCE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEEK
AND FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIMES
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEEK
IS 12% AND 19% IN FORMER YEAR AND IT,
SLIGHTLY
DECREASES BY 3% IN LATTER PERIOD.

THE PIE CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT,
Two consecutive commas
,
THE PERCENT FOR WOMEN NEVER USING MEDIA SITES WAS 8% AND IT ROSES TO 22% IN 2014 WHILST, THE FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIMES
USER IS 22% AND IT PLUMMET TO 9% IN SIMILAR PERIOD. THE AMOUNT OF DAILY USING WAS ONE THIRD IN BEGINNING, FACED TWO ROSE IN 3 YEARS
Possible spelling mistake found.
MEANHILE
, ONCE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEEK
PLUNGE BY 30% IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
.
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IELTS academic THE FOLLOWING PIE CHART SHW THE USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA BY MEN AND WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA IN 2011 AND 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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