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The chart below show the percentfe

The chart below show the percentfe NyoEq
The given bar chart illustrates the percentage about the house that be rented or owned in both England and Wales. Starting from 1918 to 2011. It is noticeable that the record with rented house was minimally fall from around 75 per cent to 35 per cent in the period given. There was two figure in 1939 to 1953 that stay remain just under 70 per cent of the information. Not just that period, there is also another one on 1991 to 2001 that shown the minimally decrease not over that 5 per cent. Whereas the whole chart was fall but in 2011, the resident was start spending money on the accommodation again as the chart obviously reported the increasing percentage. Move on to the rental, There was a rise slow in the first period. Moreover that we can observe the figure around 1939 and 1953, the third-ten of the house-rent rate stayed remain for 14 years comparing to 20 years after. There was a drop focus in 2011 as well. Overall, the bar chart with two informations growth the different way round. One was rise and other was fall with maintain the equal 50 per cent in 1917.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the percentage about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that
be rented
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
in both England and Wales. Starting from 1918 to 2011.

It is noticeable that the record with rented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was
minimally
fall from around 75 per cent to 35 per cent in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. There was two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'figure' seems to be countable, so consider using: "figures".
figure
in 1939 to 1953
The verb 'remain' is plural. Did you mean: "that stay remains"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that stay remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 70 per cent of the information. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that period, there is
also
another one on 1991 to 2001 that shown the
minimally
decrease not over that 5 per cent. Whereas the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
was fall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2011, the resident was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
spending money on the accommodation again as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
obviously
reported the increasing percentage.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
on to the rental, There was a rise slow in the
first
period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
that we can observe the figure around 1939 and 1953, the third-ten of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-rent rate stayed remain for 14 years comparing to 20 years after. There was a drop
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
2011
as well
.

Overall
, the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
with two
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
growth the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way round. One was rise and other was fall with maintain the equal 50 per cent in 1917.

IELTS academic The chart below show the percentfe

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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