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The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients , all of which may be un healthy if eaten too much

The provided graph illustrated the middle proportion of the consumed meals, which are a three unhealthy food increasingly eaten throughout the whole day meals break fast, snacks, diner and lunch ( added sugars- sodium- saturated fat ). Overall, after the analysis of given graph, it can be witnessed that there are some changes; while sodium and saturated fat experienced high frequency in dinner meals, added sugar seen decrease in the same meals. There are a dramatic increase by 42 % in the proportion of added sugar in dinner meals corresponding to it’s frequency by 19 % in lunch meals. Proportion of sodium registered similarity by 14 % in both breakfast and snacks meals. In lunch meals saturated fat and sodium recorded similar proportion around 26 %; however, added sugar only plummeted by 19 %. Finally in breakfast meal all sodium, saturated fat and added sugar has similar frequency by 15 %.
The provided graph illustrated the middle
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proportion
of the consumed
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meals
, which are a three unhealthy food
increasingly
eaten throughout the whole day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, snacks, diner and lunch
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars-
sodium-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
.

Overall
, after the analysis of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph, it can
be witnessed
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
; while sodium and
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
experienced high frequency in dinner
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meals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
decrease in the same meals.

There are a dramatic increase by 42 % in the
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proportion
of
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
corresponding to
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it’s
frequency by 19 % in lunch
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meals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proportion
of sodium registered similarity by 14 % in both breakfast and snacks
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meals
. In lunch
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meals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and sodium recorded similar
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proportion
around 26 %;
however
,
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
plummeted by 19 %.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
in breakfast
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meal
all sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has similar frequency by 15 %.
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IELTS academic The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be un healthy if eaten too much

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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