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The chart below shares of expenditure for five major categories the USA, Canada, the UK, and Japan in the year 2009.

The chart below shares of expenditure for five major categories the USA, Canada, the UK, and Japan in the year 2009. m2Ngd
The prescribed bar chart compares the expenditure of given four countries on several consumer services in the year of 2009. Overall, the highest amount of spending was found in USA, Canada, and the uk on housing as against of Japan on food whereas the least quantity was in the UK, Canada and Japan on healthcare as opposed to the USA on clothing. In terms of food, the expenditure of Japan was almost 23% as against of Canada, UK, and USA exact 15%, 20%, &below 15% respectively. The USA disbursed greater amount of money over 25% than that of, Canada, Japan and UK, on housing (approximately 21% 22%&24% respectively). There was expense accurate 20% in Canada, 10% in Japan, 15% in UK & almost 17% in USA in case of transportation. In the other hand, the consumption of rest of the products was very minimal. All of the countries spent least amount of money around 5% in respect of clothing. Around 5% expense was in Canada & Japan whareas UK & USA disbursed about 2% and 7% respectively on healthcare.
The prescribed bar chart compares the expenditure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
four countries on several consumer services in the year of 2009.

Overall
, the highest amount of spending
was found
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, Canada, and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
on housing as against of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
on food whereas the least quantity was in the UK, Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
on healthcare as opposed to the USA on clothing.

In terms of food, the expenditure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was almost 23% as against of Canada, UK, and USA exact 15%, 20%,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&below
15%
respectively
. The USA disbursed greater amount of money over 25% than that of, Canada,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and UK, on housing (approximately 21% 22%&24%
respectively
). There was expense accurate 20% in Canada, 10% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, 15% in UK & almost 17%
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
in case of transportation.

In the other hand, the consumption of rest of the products was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minimal.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
countries spent
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount of money around 5% in respect of clothing. Around 5% expense was in Canada &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
Possible spelling mistake found.
whareas
UK & USA disbursed about 2% and 7%
respectively
on healthcare.
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IELTS academic The chart below shares of expenditure for five major categories the USA, Canada, the UK, and Japan in the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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