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The chart below illustrates information about different types of addiction. It shows the amount of poisonous substances that are used during the week. Summarize the information by pointing out the most important features, and make comparison where it is possible.

The chart below illustrates information about different types of addiction. It shows the amount of poisonous substances that are used during the week. Orn9k
The chart displays the different types of addiction being used in percentage for those with 0-2 and 5-7 family dinners per week. Overall, those having 0-2 weekly family dinners are llikely to use the poisonous substances than the ones having 5-7. First of all, 15% consume tobacco while having 0-2 family dinners per week as opposed to 5-7. Secondly, the alcohol consumption proportion is at 33% to 15%. Thirdly, the percentages of marijuana usage is at 21% for 0-2 and 8% for 5-7. However, a huge percentage of 0-2 have friends that drink regularly, accounting for 43% unlike 29% for 5-7. Also, 33% have friends who use marijuana regularly compared to 18%. Moreover, only 4% of those having 5-7 family dinners per week are likely to try drugs in future instead of 15% among 0-2. Therefore, those attending less family dinners are more likely to get influenced badly with addiction of these harmful substances.
The chart displays the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of addiction being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in percentage for those with 0-2 and 5-7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinners
per week.
Overall
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
0-2 weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinners
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
llikely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the poisonous substances than the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
5-7.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, 15% consume tobacco while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
0-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinners
per week as opposed to 5-7.
Secondly
, the alcohol consumption proportion is at 33% to 15%.
Thirdly
, the percentages of marijuana usage is at 21% for 0-2 and 8% for 5-7.
However
, a huge percentage of 0-2 have friends that drink
regularly
, accounting for 43% unlike 29% for 5-7.
Also
, 33% have friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
marijuana
regularly
compared to 18%.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
5-7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinners
per week are likely to try drugs in future
instead
of 15% among 0-2.

Therefore
, those attending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinners
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced
badly
with addiction of these harmful substances.

IELTS academic The chart below illustrates information about different types of addiction. It shows the amount of poisonous substances that are used during the week.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart below illustrates information about different types of addiction. It shows the amount of poisonous substances that are used during the week. Summarize the information by pointing out the most important features, and make comparison where it is possible.