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The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information. w3yd
The chart below indicates information related to global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. As we have a look at the graph, we see every item has some fluctuations by years. Although, some item has increased within years, however some of them has diminished. The first item is games software which had the smallest portion compare to the other item. The amount of games software was around 14 billion dollars by 2000. It has changed to almost 16 billion dollars, 18 billion dollars and 19 billion dollars respectively within years. The second item is DVD or video which had the average share on the graph. DVD or video sales were approximately 18 billion dollars. It has increased to around 23 billion dollars by 2001. The sales amount were about 23 billion dollars and almost 31 billion dollars between 2002 and 2003. The final item is CDs which had largest part for sales amount throughout the years. However the sales amount of CDs has decreased during years. Sales were about 35 billion dollars before diminished to around 33 billion dollars abd nearly 32 billion dollars in 2001 and 2002. It was approximately 31 billion dollars by 2003.
The chart below indicates information related to global
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sales
of games software, CDs and DVD or video.

As we have a look at the graph, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
every
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item
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations by years. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
has increased within years,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them has diminished.

The
first
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item
is games software which had the smallest portion compare to the other
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item
. The
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amount
of games software was around 14
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
by 2000. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to almost 16
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
, 18
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and 19
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
respectively
within years.

The second
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item
is DVD or video which had the average share on the graph. DVD or video
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sales
were approximately 18
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. It has increased to around 23
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
by 2001. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
were about 23
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and almost 31
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
between 2002 and 2003.

The final
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item
is CDs which had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
part for
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sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
throughout the years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of CDs has decreased during years.
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Sales
were about 35
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
diminished to around 33
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
Possible spelling mistake found.
abd
nearly
32
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2001 and 2002. It was approximately 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
by 2003.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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