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the chart and table give information about exercise and absenteeism in two department of a major company. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart and table give information about exercise and absenteeism in two department of a major company. m9j1A
A glance at provided chart and table reveals information about exercise and absenteeism in two departments of a major company. Shown figures of chart appeal that half of employees tend to exercise between 5 and 10 hours per week in both London and Birmingham. It also proves that in London nearly 35 percent of workers spend less than 5 hours per week, which is 20 percent more than Birmingham. On the other hand Birmingham's employees do exercise between 10 and 15 hours weekly, compare to London's department this is nearly two times more. About 10 percent of Both London's and Birmingham's employees equally attended in exercise more than 15 hours per week. Given table, however, notifies remarkable information as well as the chart did with consideration of Absenteeism through illness. For instance in London 158 people of those who work for company weren't absent at all in 2012 but for Birmingham with the same situation this number was about twice with quantity of 380. 594 of employees, meanwhile, were absent between 1-5 days in a year in London which implies the greatest number in whole table. Compare to London for this situation the number drops nearly to half of this amount in Birmingham(378). Employees regardless of location were almost equal in the case of being absent for more than 5 days with approximate number of250. All in one the relation between exercise an d absenteeism have been covered with provided data in an astonishing quality.
A glance at provided chart and table reveals information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and absenteeism in two departments of a major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Shown figures of chart appeal that half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
between 5 and 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week in both London and Birmingham. It
also
proves that in London
nearly
35 percent of workers spend less than 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week, which is 20 percent more than Birmingham.

On the other hand
Birmingham's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
between 10 and 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
weekly, compare to London's department this is
nearly
two times more.

About 10 percent of Both
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "Londons"?
London's
and Birmingham's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
equally
attended in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more than 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
table,
however
, notifies remarkable information
as well
as the chart did with consideration of Absenteeism through illness.
For instance
in London 158
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of those who work for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
weren't absent at all in 2012
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for Birmingham with the same situation this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
was about twice with quantity of 380. 594 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, meanwhile, were absent between 1-5 days in a year in London which implies the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in whole table. Compare to London for this situation the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
drops
nearly
to half of this amount in Birmingham(378).

Employees regardless of location were almost equal in the case of being absent for more than 5 days with approximate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of250.

All in one the relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
d absenteeism have
been covered
with provided data in an astonishing quality.
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IELTS academic the chart and table give information about exercise and absenteeism in two department of a major company.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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