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The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003 to 2012

The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003 to 2012 Yo8N
The line graph compares the number of incidents that occurred across three types of crime, namely burglary, car theft and individual robbery in the inner city of Newport between 2003 and 2012. Overall, the volume of crime by means of burglary and car theft showed a decline while the trend for robbery remained consistent till the end of the timeline. Burglary saw the highest number of incidents in 2003 but was replaced by car theft in 2012 while robberies accounted for the lowest number of cases throughout the period. Around 3500 cases of burglary were reported in 2003, this kind of crime saw its peak in 2004 with near about 3700 incidents, following which it gradually decreased till 2008 and then remained constant till 2012. Car thefts accounted for approximately 2800 cases in 2003, this number was stable for the next 2 years after which it shrunk down to just over 2000 occurrences in 2006. It then climbed back to around 2700 cases towards the end of the timeline. Crimes reported in case of robbery saw a pattern similar to that of car theft where it started off with slightly over 500 incidents in 2003 and remained stable till 2005. It showed a slight drop in 2008 and subsequently did not experience any significant deviation.
The line graph compares the
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number
of
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incidents
that occurred across three types of
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crime
,
namely
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burglary
,
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car
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theft
and individual
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robbery
in the inner city of Newport between 2003 and 2012.

Overall
, the volume of
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crime
by means of
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burglary
and
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decline while the trend for
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robbery
remained consistent till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the timeline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Burglary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the highest
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number
of
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incidents
in 2003
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but
was replaced
by
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car
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theft
in 2012 while
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robberies
accounted for the lowest
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number
of cases throughout the period.

Around 3500 cases of
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burglary
were reported
in 2003, this kind of
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crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
its peak in 2004 with near about 3700
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incidents
, following which it
gradually
decreased till 2008 and then remained constant till 2012.
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Car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thefts
accounted for approximately 2800 cases in 2003, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
was stable for the
next
2 years after which it shrunk down to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2000 occurrences in 2006. It then climbed back to around 2700 cases towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the timeline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
reported in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a pattern similar to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with
slightly
over 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
in 2003 and remained stable till 2005. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight drop in 2008 and
subsequently
did not experience any significant deviation.
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IELTS academic The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003 to 2012

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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