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The bar graph shows the percentage of people who owned a mobile phone from 2000 to 2010

The bar graph shows the percentage of people who owned a mobile phone from 2000 to 2010 9LWdj
The bar graph depicts the information about ratio of individuals who owned a smart phone in the year 2000, 2005 and 2010. In 2000 only 20% individuals achieve mobile phone Whereas after the five year competition more than 10% people owned a mobile phone as compared to year 2000. The highest percentage of people owned a mobile phone was noticed in last year 2010 which was 40 percent one 10th less than two quarter ratioOverall with the passage of time increasing Percentage was noticed for owned a mobile phone
The bar graph depicts the information about ratio of individuals who
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owned
a smart
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phone
in the
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year
2000, 2005 and 2010. In 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% individuals achieve mobile
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phone
Whereas after the five
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year
competition more than 10%
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000. The highest percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was noticed
in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 which was 40 percent one 10th less than two quarter
Possible spelling mistake found.
ratioOverall
with the passage of time increasing Percentage
was noticed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
a mobile
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
phone
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the percentage of people who owned a mobile phone from 2000 to 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
88 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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