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The bar graph shows the money spent by UK and France on consumer goods.

The bar graph shows the money spent by UK and France on consumer goods. ebD8O
They bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods ( cars, computers, books, perfume and camaras) in France and UK in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling. Overall, the United Kingdom spent more money on consumer goods than France in given time period. Both British and France used most of their earnings on cars whereas the least amount of money spent on perfume in the UK compared to camaras in the France. It is lucid that in the United Kingdom people spent the highest earning on cars that was £4, 50, 000 while the money was spent by France people was 400000 pounds. Similarly, the British expenditure was higher than France that was 4, 00, 000 and 3, 00, 000 respectively. In the UK, expenditure on cameras was approximately 3, 50, 000 which doubled from the France. Moving towards the computers, the amount of money paid out on the computer higher in France that was over 3, 50, 000 pounds which was slightly more than the British who spent exactly£350000. Lastly, both nations expend less amount on perfume that was £150000 and 200000.
They bar graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
cars, computers, books, perfume and
Possible spelling mistake found.
camaras
) in France and UK in 2010. Units
are measured
in pounds sterling.

Overall
, the United Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than France in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period. Both British and France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
most of their earnings on cars whereas the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on perfume in the UK compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
camaras
in the France.

It is lucid that in the United Kingdom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the highest earning on cars that was £4, 50, 000 while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
400000 pounds
.
Similarly
, the British expenditure was higher than France that was 4, 00, 000 and 3, 00, 000
respectively
. In the UK, expenditure on cameras was approximately 3, 50, 000 which doubled from the France.

Moving towards the computers, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paid out on the computer higher in France that was over 3, 50, 000 pounds which was
slightly
more than the British who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
exactly£350000.
Lastly
, both nations expend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
on perfume that was £150000 and 200000.

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the money spent by UK and France on consumer goods.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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