Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph shows the average minutes per day spent on internet

The bar graph shows the average minutes per day spent on internet Jok2e
AThe given bar graph illustrates the internet used by various age groups in United Kingdom between the year 2003 to 2006. overall, it can be said from the assigned graph that most users of internet was teenager, whilst the senior citizens were the lowest user of the internet in the given period of time. looking at the graph in more detail, as regards to the web user it was at 80% in the year 2003 and 2004 respectively. However, it was increased to 100% before declining in 2005. Age group of 25 to 44 years the internet users were at least in 2003 with about 50% among four years of period and it grew up to 80% in 2006. Although United Kingdom had only 60% of internet users which were 45 to 54 age groups in 2003. it rose to 80% in the end of the period. 50% was the highest rate of internet users among 55 to 64 age group in 2006 rest of the year It was about to 50%. As far as over 65 years old are concerned, there percentage remained between 18 to 20 throughout the period
Possible spelling mistake found.
AThe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003 to 2006.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it can
be said
from the assigned graph that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
of internet was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, whilst the senior citizens were the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
of the internet in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
looking
at the graph in more detail, as regards to the web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
it was at 80% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003 and 2004
respectively
.
However
, it
was increased
to 100%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declining in 2005.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 25 to 44 years the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
were at least in 2003 with about 50% among four years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
and it grew up to 80% in 2006.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
United Kingdom had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
60% of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
which were 45 to 54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in 2003.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
rose to 80% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. 50% was the highest rate of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
among 55 to 64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in 2006 rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
It was about to 50%. As far as over 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are concerned
, there percentage remained
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 18 and 20".
between 18 to 20
throughout the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the average minutes per day spent on internet

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar graph shows the average minutes per day spent on internet