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The bar graph shows information on employement rates in 1995 and 2005 in china

The bar graph shows information on employement rates in 1995 and 2005 in china PR0BB
The given bar represents data about workforce rates according to gender category in china between 1995 and 2005 years. Looking from an Overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the highest percentage of males were worked in Iceland While the lowest ratio of females were employed in Australia and Newzealand. Moreover, the employement rates of males were higher than females throught the given period. In the male category, only 70% males were worked in 1995 and that was risen in next year with 80% in Iceland. the ratio of males occupation were similar in Newzealand and USA in both years with 50% and 70% respectively. In addition, the workforce rate in Swizerland were higher than Australia with 10% in given periods. In the female category, Only 25% females were job in 1995 and this was risen by 10% in next year. In Swizerland just 5% females were higher in first year than the second year. Besides that USA and UK works percentile near about 60 and 70 in 1995 and 2005 reapectively
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar represents data about workforce rates according to gender category in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
between 1995 and 2005 years. Looking from an
Overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were worked
in Iceland While the lowest ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
Possible agreement error
were
employed in Australia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzealand
.
Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. In the male category,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were worked
in 1995 and that
was risen
in
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with 80% in Iceland.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
occupation were similar in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzealand
and USA in both years with 50% and 70%
respectively
.
In addition
, the workforce rate in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Swizerland
were higher than Australia with 10% in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
periods. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
category,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were job in 1995 and this
was risen
by 10% in
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Swizerland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were higher in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
than the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Besides
that USA and UK works percentile near about 60 and 70 in 1995 and 2005
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reapectively
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows information on employement rates in 1995 and 2005 in china

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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