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The bar graph illustrates how the GDP changes over the time period of 1992 to 2000 in the UK.

The bar graph illustrates how the GDP changes over the time period of 1992 to 2000 in the UK. 7n9X
The bar graph illustrates how the GDP changes over the time period of 1992 to 2000 in the UK. Overall, IT industry showed exponential increase in GDP throughout the years. In comparison, service industry was trending up slightly from the years of 1992 to 2000. In the year 1992, IT industry contributed 6% in GDP meanwhile service industry was lower to 4%. After 2 year, IT industry touched 8% and service industry 6% as well. Both industries behaved equally in next 2 years time. GDP of IT industry was drastically higher up to 12% in 1998 and 14% in 2000. Therefore Service industry was raised in a very low pace and end at 8% in 2000.
The bar graph illustrates how the GDP
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the time period of 1992 to 2000 in the UK.
Overall
, IT
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industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
exponential increase in GDP throughout the years.
In comparison
,
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service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was trending up
slightly
from the years of 1992 to 2000. In the
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year
1992, IT
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industry
contributed 6% in GDP meanwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was lower to 4%. After 2
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year
, IT
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industry
touched 8% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
6%
as well
. Both
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industries
behaved
equally
in
next
2 years time. GDP of IT
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industry
was
drastically
higher up to 12% in 1998 and 14% in 2000.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was raised
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low pace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at 8% in 2000.
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IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates how the GDP changes over the time period of 1992 to 2000 in the UK.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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