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The bar graph illustrates comparing amount of the UK people who pay money for charity in five different age-groups in the years 1990 and 2010

The bar graph illustrates comparing amount of the UK people who pay money for charity in five different age-groups in the years 1990 and 2010 awbkG
The bar graph illustrates comparing amount of the UK people who pay money for charity in five different age-groups in the years 1990 and 2010. It were measured in percentage. Overall it can be seen that the youngest group of ages 18-25years old in the chart gave the least percent of money for charity between all other age-groups in the both years. In 1990 people with age-group 26-35 and 36-50 years old gave almost 5% more than the same groups of age in charity in comparing to the year 2010. In contrast in 2010 two groups of ages 51-65 and older than 65 years old people spent almost 5 percent more than the same age-groups on charity in comparing to 1990.
The bar graph illustrates comparing amount of the UK
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people
who pay money for
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charity
in five
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different
age-groups in the years 1990 and 2010. It
were measured
in percentage.
Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the youngest group of ages 18-25years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in the chart gave the least percent of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
between all other age-groups in the both years.

In 1990
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with age-group 26-35 and 36-50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
gave almost 5% more than the same groups of age in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
in comparing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
in 2010 two groups of ages 51-65 and older than 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent almost 5 percent more than the same age-groups on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
in comparing to 1990.
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IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates comparing amount of the UK people who pay money for charity in five different age-groups in the years 1990 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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