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The bar graph gives knowledge on the percentage of people living in Britain which handout funds to charity in 1990 and 2010.

The bar graph gives knowledge on the percentage of people living in Britain which handout funds to charity in 1990 and 2010. lq9KX
The bar graph gives knowledge on the percentage of people living in Britain which handout funds to charity in 1990 and 2010. The data is represented in age ranges between 18-25, 25-35, 36-50, 51-65 and >65. Overall, the maximum money was donated by individuals in the age range of 36-50 and 51-65 in the year 1990 and 2010 respectively. The minimum cash on charity was spent by people in the age range of 18-25 both in 1990 and 2010. Taking the statistical data into account, in 1990 the amount of money contributed towards charity increased markedly from the age of 18-25 to the age range 36-50 and peaked at above 40% contribution. The cash spent on philanthropy decreased a little bit in the later years at to just above 30% contribution for individuals greater than 65 years. On the other hand, in 2010 the amount of capital spent on charity was slightly above 5% for individuals between 18 to 25 years. This donation kept climbing to 39% for the people in the age of 51 to 65 but then the contribution slightly decreased for citizens above 65 years.
The bar graph gives knowledge on the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Britain which handout funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
in 1990 and 2010. The data
is represented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ranges
between 18-25, 25-35, 36-50, 51-65 and >65.

Overall
, the maximum money
was donated
by individuals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 36-50 and 51-65 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990 and 2010
respectively
. The minimum cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
was spent
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 18-25 both in 1990 and 2010.

Taking the statistical data into account, in 1990 the amount of money contributed towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
increased
markedly
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 18-25 to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
36-50 and peaked at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40% contribution. The cash spent on philanthropy decreased a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
in the later years at to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
30% contribution for individuals greater than 65 years.

On the other hand
, in 2010 the amount of capital spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
was
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
5% for individuals
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 18 and 25".
between 18 to 25
years. This donation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
climbing to 39% for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 51 to 65
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then the contribution
slightly
decreased for citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
65 years.
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IELTS academic The bar graph gives knowledge on the percentage of people living in Britain which handout funds to charity in 1990 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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