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It's increasingly common for people to have health problems in many developing countries. What are the reasons and how can this issued be solved?

It's increasingly common for people to have health problems in many developing countries. What are the reasons and how can this issued be solved? K3Ao9
In this day and age, health problems have known to be vastly prominent for individuals in many developing nations. This essay would attempt to shed light on the primary reasons of this situation before outlining some viable solutions to mitigate the problem. There are a number of reasons of this alarming issue. Firstly, environment determines the disease pattern in developing countries. By way of illustration, companies in developing widely do not have perfect waste filter and disposal, which lead to contaminated water, air and soil. Because of the fact that these are reused and recycled by the humans, they are infected with poisonous substances. Secondly, the government pay less attention to their denizens. For instance, some countries do not develop and upgrade medical facilities such as hospitals or medial station for dwellers in case of having sudden diseases. In order to address these aforementioned issues, several actions can be taken. First and foremost, the government should forbid plants, firms to discharge toxic gas and impose a fine with high cost. This will threaten managers not to release polluted substances because they do not want to lose a large amount of money. Furthermore, people should learn how to maintain a good health. To be more specific, the internet is common and conspicuous, so that they can find information and sources via social networks to live a better life. In conclusion, the debate surrounding the fact that it is greatly notorious for humans to have health problems in a plethora of developing countries is one of the most charged in today issues. For the reasons I mentioned above, this situation can be dealt with by several actions.
In this day and age, health problems have known to be
vastly
prominent for individuals in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations. This essay would attempt to shed light on the primary reasons of this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
outlining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions to mitigate the problem.

There are a number of reasons of this alarming issue.
Firstly
, environment determines the disease pattern in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries. By way of illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
widely
do not have perfect waste filter and disposal, which lead to contaminated water, air and soil.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
Because of the fact that
these
are reused
and recycled by the humans, they
are infected
with poisonous substances.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pay less attention to their denizens.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries do not develop and upgrade medical facilities such as hospitals or medial station for dwellers in case of having sudden diseases.

In order to address these aforementioned issues, several actions can
be taken
.
First
and foremost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should forbid plants, firms to discharge toxic gas and impose a fine with high cost. This will threaten managers not to release polluted substances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to lose a large amount of money.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should learn how to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health. To be more specific, the internet is common and conspicuous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can find information and sources via social networks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life.

In conclusion
, the debate surrounding the fact that it is
greatly
notorious for humans to have health problems in a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries is one of the most charged in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
issues. For the reasons I mentioned above, this situation can
be dealt
with by several actions.
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IELTS academic It's increasingly common for people to have health problems in many developing countries. What are the reasons and how can this issued be solved?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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