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The bar graph elucidates outcomes of a survey about individuals' choice purchasing coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.

The bar graph elucidates outcomes of a survey about individuals' choice purchasing coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart. oRVEb
The bar graph elucidates outcomes of a survey about individuals' choice purchasing coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart. Overall, it can be seen the highest proportion of individuals who drink coffee or tea is Hobart, while Adelaide accounted for the lowest. Furthermore, looking at the graph a significant increase is seen in the people going to a cafe to buy those in the last 4 weeks. In terms of instant coffee, the consumption varies for[* from] marginally above 45% to 55%, with Sydney being the lowest and Hobart is the highest in the last 4 weeks. Likewise, Sydney is the highest consumer of fresh coffee with slightly below 45%, whereas Brisbane is the lowest with marginally under 35% in last month. On the other hand, individuals who go to a cafe for drinking tea or coffee stand high in almost every city, except Adelaide. However, in Adelaide, people who buy instant coffee is more compared to fresh coffee or tea.
The bar graph elucidates outcomes of a survey about individuals' choice purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the highest proportion of individuals who drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
is Hobart, while Adelaide accounted for the lowest.
Furthermore
, looking at the graph a significant increase is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those in the last 4 weeks.

In terms of instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, the consumption varies for[* from]
marginally
above 45% to 55%, with Sydney being the lowest and Hobart is the highest in the last 4 weeks.
Likewise
, Sydney is the highest consumer of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
with
slightly
below 45%, whereas Brisbane is the lowest with
marginally
under 35% in last month.

On the other hand
, individuals who go to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
stand high in almost every city, except Adelaide.
However
, in Adelaide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is more compared to fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph elucidates outcomes of a survey about individuals' choice purchasing coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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