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The bar charts that the percentage of workers who were working hours per week in different European counties in 2002

The bar charts that the percentage of workers who were working hours per week in different European counties in 2002 738pX
The given bar charts highlight the comparative study of the percentage of workers who were working hours per week in four different European countries from 2002. Overall, the majority percentage of workers in France and a minority amount in Denmark. At the first glance, it can be seen from the bar chart that the highest figure of workers who were a job still 30-35 hrs about 50% as compared to half percentages of hours 46- 50. While 38 percent of workers who were spending 36 40 hours. There was merely an amount of 50 + hours, 1-14 hrs and 21-30 hrs in France. Whereas, the highest percentage of workers who were spending still 36-40 hrs in other three European countries and the amount remained stable of labours of between 14 t h to 21 to 30 hours and double figure of 31 to 35 hours of workers in Denmark. It can be seen from the chart that the percentage of a cause was fluctuated to spend hours incident in Sydney was the amount of labours increased dramatically about 10% of 1 to 40 hour and 50% of 36 24 hours whereas decrease sharply of 50 + over in the Uk.
The
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given
bar charts highlight the comparative study of the
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percentage
of
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workers
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who
were working
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hours
per week in four
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different
European countries from 2002.

Overall
, the majority
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percentage
of
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workers
in France and a minority
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amount
in Denmark.

At the
first
glance, it can be
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seen
from the bar chart that the highest figure of
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workers
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who
were a job
still
30-35 hrs about 50% as compared to half
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percentages
of
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hours
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
46- 50
.
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While
38 percent of
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workers
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who
were spending 36 40
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hours
. There was
merely
an
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amount
of 50 +
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hours
, 1-14 hrs and 21-30 hrs in France. Whereas, the highest
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were spending
still
36-40 hrs in other three European countries and the
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amount
remained stable of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
of between 14 t h to 21 to 30
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hours
and double figure of 31 to 35
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hours
of
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workers
in Denmark.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that the
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percentage
of a cause
was fluctuated
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
incident in Sydney was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
increased
dramatically
about 10% of 1 to 40
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
and 50% of 36 24
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hours
whereas decrease
sharply
of 50 + over in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
.

IELTS academic The bar charts that the percentage of workers who were working hours per week in different European counties in 2002

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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