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The bar charts illustrate the proportion of men and women that were still working between the ages of 60 and 64 in Belgium, USA, Japan, and Indonesia, in 1970 and 2000.

The bar charts illustrate the proportion of men and women that were still working between the ages of 60 and 64 in Belgium, USA, Japan, and Indonesia, in 1970 and 2000. L3Rj8
The bar charts illustrate the proportion of men and women that were still working between the ages of 60 and 64 in Belgium, USA, Japan, and Indonesia, in 1970 and 2000. Overall, the employment rate for both males and females in all four countries saw a substantial decline over the period. Meanwhile, the proportion of employed males aged 60-64 was invariably higher than that of their counterparts in the two given years, regardless of the country. In 1970, roughly 83% of Indonesian men aged 60-64 were employed, which was second only to the USA, at 86%. The percentage of 60-64 year old women who were still working in Indonesia and USA was 50% and 76% respectively. In 2000, while employment rates for males in both mentioned countries declined by roughly 10%, the percentage of employed females in Indonesia rose to surpass that of the USA, at 50% compared to 45%. Initially, Japan was the country where the statistical difference between employed males and females was the largest, with 75% of males and 56% of females. However, over the next 30 years, the largest gap was to be seen in Belgium where 51% of males were employed, approximately 40% higher than the figure for females.
The bar charts illustrate the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women that were
still
working between the ages of 60 and 64 in Belgium, USA, Japan, and Indonesia, in 1970 and 2000.

Overall
, the employment rate for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in all four countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a substantial decline over the period. Meanwhile, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
aged 60-64 was
invariably
higher than that of their counterparts in the two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years, regardless of the country.

In 1970, roughly 83% of Indonesian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
aged 60-64 were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
, which was second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the USA, at 86%. The percentage of 60-64 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
women who were
still
working in Indonesia and USA was 50% and 76%
respectively
. In 2000, while employment rates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in both mentioned countries declined by roughly 10%, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in Indonesia rose to surpass that of the USA, at 50% compared to 45%.

Initially
, Japan was the country where the statistical difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was the largest, with 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and 56% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
However
, over the
next
30 years, the largest gap was to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Belgium where 51% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
, approximately 40% higher than the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate the proportion of men and women that were still working between the ages of 60 and 64 in Belgium, USA, Japan, and Indonesia, in 1970 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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