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The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period. bqXq
The bar chart illustrates the total percentage of volunteers in New Zealand, who participated in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart demonstrates how many volunteers took particular types of jobs at that time. First, couples with children accounted for the largest portion of 49%. However, lone person indicators became the lowest, 10% according to the chart. Following this, couples without children have more percentage than one parent and other households combined. In particular, 27% of couples without children and 23% for lone people with other households respectively. Looking at the data, a particular part of sport support roles, like coaches, instructors or teachers was 206. 000 participants, whereas, the number of people who were involved as medical support and scorers(timekeepers) was less, 190. 700 and 206. 000 respectively. Committee members is the second largest group with 156600 volunteers. As for referees or umpires, they are one of the groups with lowest index which exceeds/surpasses medical support only by 30. 000 participants. Overall, the overwhelming majority of participants took the role of coaches and instructors. However, referees and medical support had the lowest number of people. The most involved type of household was couples with children.
The bar chart illustrates the total percentage of volunteers in New Zealand, who participated in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart demonstrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
volunteers took particular types of jobs at that time.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accounted for the largest portion of 49%.
However
, lone person indicators became the lowest, 10% according to the chart. Following this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more percentage than one parent and other households combined.
In particular
, 27% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and 23% for lone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with other households
respectively
.

Looking at the data, a particular part of sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
roles, like coaches, instructors or teachers was 206. 000 participants, whereas, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were involved
as medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and scorers(timekeepers) was less, 190. 700 and 206. 000
respectively
. Committee members is the second largest group with 156600 volunteers. As for referees or umpires, they are one of the groups with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
index which exceeds/surpasses medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by 30. 000 participants.

Overall
, the overwhelming majority of participants took the role of coaches and instructors.
However
, referees and medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
had the lowest number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The most involved type of household was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.