Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart shows the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which employees of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are affecting on their work performance.

The bar chart shows the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which employees of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are affecting on their work performance. r8x9p
The bar chart shows the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which employees of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are affecting on their work performance. Overall, what stand out from the chart is that aged group between 18-30 has the most employees which are affecting compare to 45 to 60 age employees by various factors. To commence with, an almost same number of employees of both the age groups are getting affected by team spirit, by their competent boss and due to the job satisfaction which are around 50 employees. However, because of personal development, relaxed working environment and promotion prospects, almost 80 employees of aged 18-30 performance affecting by these factors. In addition, job security, respect from colleagues and work environment are the down factors from which almost 40 of both age group employees are getting affected on thier performance. Moreover, an identical number of employees are affecting by money factor which is 70 of both age groups.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affecting
on their work performance.

Overall
, what stand out from the chart is that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
between 18-30 has the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affecting
compare to 45 to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
by various factors.

To commence with, an almost same number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by team spirit, by their competent boss and due to the job satisfaction which are around 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of personal development, relaxed working environment and promotion prospects, almost 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of aged 18-30 performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affecting
by these factors.

In addition
, job security, respect from colleagues and work environment are the down factors from which almost 40 of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
performance.
Moreover
, an identical number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affecting
by money factor which is 70 of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which employees of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are affecting on their work performance.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart shows the data of recent survey conducted on the various factors by which employees of aged 18-30 and 45-60 are affecting on their work performance.