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The bar chart shows how many people came from 5 countries to Australia for business, or to visit family and friends in 2017 . Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows how many people came from 5 countries to Australia for business, or to visit family and friends in 2017. gGQLl
The given bar graph compares the number of visitors from five different nations to Australia in the year 2017, with their reason for visit as the basis. Overall, it is evident that most of the people were from China and New Zealand, and holiday was the main reason for all, except in the case of UK. The residents of China and New Zealand were the highest in number in 2017. Both travelled to Australia mostly for the purpose of business, with approximately 650 thousand from China and 500 thousand people from NZ. The visitors from NZ were almost same when it comes to visiting family or friends, or for business, which were around 500 thousand each. These figures were comparatively lower for Chinese, with 400, 00 visiting for work and 300, 000 to reunite with their family/friends. Japan and USA had somewhat similar trends, but the figures were much lower, especially those from Japan who came to visit their family were just 50, 000. Whereas for USA, the count was 200, 000. Spending holiday was again the purpose for most, with a count of 280 thousand from Japan and 350 thousand from USA. UK has shown an exception, there were 100, 000 more people who came to Australia to see their friends and family as compared to the count of those who came for vacation or work, which was 200, 000.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the number of visitors from five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations to Australia in the year 2017, with their reason for visit as the basis.

Overall
, it is evident that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were from China and New Zealand, and holiday was the main reason for all, except in the case of UK.

The residents of China and New Zealand were the
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
highest in number
in 2017. Both travelled to Australia
mostly
for the purpose of business, with approximately 650 thousand from China and 500 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from NZ. The visitors from NZ were almost same when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to visiting family or friends, or for business, which were around 500 thousand each. These figures were
comparatively
lower for Chinese, with 400, 00 visiting for work and 300, 000 to reunite with their family/friends.

Japan and USA had somewhat similar trends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figures were much lower,
especially
those from Japan who came to visit their family were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
50, 000. Whereas
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the USA".
for USA
, the count was 200, 000. Spending holiday was again the purpose for most, with a count of 280 thousand from Japan and 350 thousand
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the USA".
from USA
. UK has shown an exception, there were 100, 000 more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who came to Australia to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their friends and family as compared to the count of those who came for vacation or work, which was 200, 000.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows how many people came from 5 countries to Australia for business, or to visit family and friends in 2017.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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