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The bar chart showed the literacy rate for a number of nation.

The bar chart showed the literacy rate for a number of nation. QVrEy
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of educated people in 16 different countries in 2004. A cursory glance is enough to make it clear that the majority of European countries showed excellent literacy rates. Overall, it can be seen that Pakistan and Sierra Leone depict the least proportion of education percentage, while the European countries Georgia also Slovakia represent the highest proportion. According to the graph, in 2004 the percentage of people in Georgia and Slovakia who are educated was 100%, which was the highest proportion in the given period. By contrast, in Sierra Leone, the proportion of people educated in 2004 was approximately 35%, it was the least percentage in the given period. However, Israel, Colombia, Mexico, Indonesia, Qatar, Brazil, Peru, Turkey appeared to share an almost identical literacy rate of around 88%. In 2004, the percentage of people educated in Syria was 80%. Although, Tunisia and Cambodia showed a similar percentage which was around 70%. The proportion of people educated in Hatia and Pakistan was around 62% and 50% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the
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proportion
of
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educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 16
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in 2004. A cursory glance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the majority of European countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
excellent literacy rates.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Pakistan and Sierra Leone depict the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
, while the European countries Georgia
also
Slovakia
The singular proper name 'Slovakia' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "represents", "represented".
represent
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
. According to the graph, in 2004 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Georgia and Slovakia who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
was 100%, which was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. By contrast, in Sierra Leone, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
in 2004 was approximately 35%, it was the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
However
, Israel, Colombia, Mexico, Indonesia, Qatar, Brazil, Peru, Turkey appeared to share an almost identical literacy rate of around 88%. In 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
in Syria was 80%. Although, Tunisia and Cambodia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
which was around 70%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hatia
and Pakistan was around 62% and 50%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart showed the literacy rate for a number of nation.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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