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The bar chart presents information on the boys and girls rates in four types of leisure activity among teenagers in Canada.

The bar chart presents information on the boys and girls rates in four types of leisure activity among teenagers in Canada. 1AdLn
The bar chart presents information on the boys and girls rates in four types of leisure activity among teenagers in Canada. Overall, the percentage of boys is higher than girls in each activity. Boys capable a rapid increase at the end of the activity, while girls experienced a drastic decline. Although boys mature an increase in the percentage on the contrary in the midst of a favorite activities decreased. Meanwhile, the percentage of girls at the beginning of the activity increased in the three activities which then decreased in the last leisure activity. The chunk of boys in sporting activities is around 26%. Then there was a decrease of roughly 9% in the leisure activity of computer gamers. However, the fee increased again in relaxation music enterprise to approximately 20%, the percentage is the same as the proportion for girls. In the last leisure activity, namely shopping, the ratio of boys experienced a drastic increase of approximately 15%. Shopping is also a leisure activity that is mostly followed by boys. The percentage of recreation enterprise sport has a rate of 11% and for computer games, it has increased to almost 15%. Then in the next relaxation action, namely music, it still continues to raise by approximately 5%. This music among girls has the highest rate. For convenience activity shopping wise a drastic decline to reach roughly 14% of music.
The bar chart presents information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
rates in four types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in Canada.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
is higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boys
capable a rapid increase at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
experienced a drastic decline.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
mature an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
on the contrary
in the midst of a favorite
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
decreased. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
increased in the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which then decreased in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activity.

The chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is around 26%. Then there was a decrease of roughly 9% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of computer gamers.
However
, the fee increased again in relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
enterprise to approximately 20%, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is the same as the proportion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. In the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
,
namely
shopping, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
experienced a drastic increase of approximately 15%. Shopping is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that is
mostly
followed by boys.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of recreation enterprise sport has a rate of 11% and for computer games, it has increased to almost 15%. Then in the
next
relaxation action,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it
still
continues to raise by approximately 5%. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
has the highest rate. For convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
shopping wise a drastic decline to reach roughly 14% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart presents information on the boys and girls rates in four types of leisure activity among teenagers in Canada.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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