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The bar chart illustrates the yearly quantity of rentals and sales ( in different form

The bar chart illustrates the yearly quantity of rentals and sales ( in different form Nrbwd
The bar chart illustrates the yearly quantity of rentals and sales ( in different formats) of films from a specific store over 10-year from 2002. From an overall perspective, what stands out from the chart is that the rentals experienced a dramatic decrease while the DVD sales climbed significantly, and accounted for the majority of sales during this time shown. In 2002, the number of Rentals were about 185, 000, which were almost double the sales of the second selling product, VHS with nearly 85, 000. The lowest figure was DVD sales, which was just approximately 45, 000 items while the number of Blu-ray sales did not appear in this time period. Since 2002, there had been a gradual dip in Rentals, and this figure hit the bottom in 2011 with just around 55, 000. Also, the VHS sales declined consistently to 10, 000, disappearing completely in 2007. In contrast, the sales pattern for DVD rose considerably over 10-year, reaching a peak at about 215, 000 sold products in 2007. Besides, there was an appearance of Blu-ray sales, increasing slightly over 10, 000 items at the end of this period.
The bar chart illustrates the yearly quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rentals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
formats) of films from a specific store over 10-year from 2002.

From an
overall
perspective, what stands out from the chart is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rentals
experienced a dramatic decrease while the DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
climbed
significantly
, and accounted for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
during this time shown.

In 2002, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rentals
were about 185, 000, which were almost double the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the second selling product, VHS with
nearly
85, 000. The lowest figure was DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
approximately 45, 000 items while the number of Blu-ray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
did not appear in this time period.

Since 2002, there had been a gradual dip in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rentals
, and this figure hit the bottom in 2011 with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 55, 000.
Also
, the VHS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
declined
consistently
to 10, 000, disappearing completely in 2007.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
pattern for DVD rose
considerably
over 10-year, reaching a peak at about 215, 000 sold products in 2007.
Besides
, there was an appearance of Blu-ray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, increasing
slightly
over 10, 000 items at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this period.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the yearly quantity of rentals and sales ( in different form

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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