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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women academic staff members in the faculties of a large university in 2012.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women academic staff members in the faculties of a large university in 2012. 1ag67
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women academic staff members in the faculties of a large university in 2012. Overall, the men academic staff members had the highest share in four faculties, while the number of women ranked first in three faculties. Furthermore, there was a large disparity in some parts, the faculty of Engineering was dominated by males, whereas females were in the lead in the faculty of Education. In the college of Engineering the figure for men by a wide margin stood first (80%) while the percentage of women accounted for less than 20%. In the three other colleges that the proportion of men were predominant namely Business, science, and law had a similar pattern (with a difference about 20%). On the other hand, the faculty of Education was dominated by females (approximately 78%), while the male figure made up around 22%. As well as females were in the lead in the Art colleges with roughly 48% and in the faculty of Medicine female figure by a narrow margin had the highest percentage with a difference just under 5%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women academic staff members in the faculties of a large university in 2012.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
academic staff members had the highest share in four faculties, while the number of women ranked
first
in three faculties.
Furthermore
, there was a large disparity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts, the faculty of Engineering
was dominated
by males, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were in the lead in the faculty of Education.

In the college of Engineering the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
by a wide margin stood
first
(80%) while the percentage of women accounted for less than 20%. In the three other colleges that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were predominant
namely
Business, science, and law had a similar pattern (with a difference about 20%).

On the other hand
, the faculty of Education
was dominated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
(approximately 78%), while the male figure made up around 22%.
As well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were in the lead in the Art colleges with roughly 48% and in the faculty of Medicine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
figure by a narrow margin had the highest percentage with a difference
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 5%.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women academic staff members in the faculties of a large university in 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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